About

I am a Bear for sure. Cuddly until poked, though it takes a pretty sharp stick. I am married for 29+ years, have a son in his mid 20’s and am a Navy veteran. I did a six-year hitch, have no regrets, and a lot of great memories and friends that I consider brothers from the experience. A man’s man, if you will, that enjoys beer, BBQ, and guns.

I love my wife, and we have a loving and dynamic life together that is romantic and caring, but I also desire men. Crave them and what they have whilst au naturel to put it bluntly, but keep it PG13. Difficult for a sailor, I might add. I do not desire romance with men, I desire respect, friendship, and sex.

I am out to my son. I came out to him a long time ago, when he was questioning his orientation, when he was going through puberty. We are extremely close and can share ANYTHING. He is hetero, but appreciates guys. Maybe bi too, but leaning hard to the gal side of things. I know this because he was a pussy hound in a big way. Now he is married to a lovely woman that I adore. I can talk to him about ANYTHING and it is mutual.

I out to my wife a few and working with a counselor have come to terms with our relationship. It can be hard but nothing worth anything is easy. It is very worth all the work though, because I love her and she is very worth it. There are many issues, including her health, sex drive, depression, lack of self worth, guilt, and much more.

She has a pituitary tumor. Surgery has removed most of it and radiation has killed the rest of it; however, there is still mass there that cannot be removed. This mass causes headaches that range from low grade constant to blinding occasionally. The pituitary also controls all the glands in the body, so the side effects can be unpleasant, including mood swings and hot flashes. This is the main reason why I did not come out to her initially and also the main reason I am struggling and part of the reason she is struggling with me being out.

I also feel I cannot come out in general with family and friends. Family, because what is left is mostly Mormon and friends, because the majority are Navy and military buds that as a general rule wouldn’t understand. I come from the military generation of, “don’t ask, don’t tell.” It is easy to say well they aren’t genuine friends, if they don’t accept you, but these friendships have nothing to do with orientation and to some, bringing that in would damage it.